I want to address the issue of children in grief and how adults can best help them cope and process their feelings through their journey of grief.

So here I am going to share 8 tips or principles and insights to consider when you are in a role of guiding a child through their grief.

1. Know that grieving is unique for everyone and that includes children, too. It is important to not project your own feelings and grief onto the child, because children will process their grief according to their own maturity and age level.
2. Always affirm the child’s feelings of sadness, loneliness, and sorrow that comes from missing the loved one who has died. The child needs to know that these feelings are normal in grief and they are not abnormal for feeling these things.
3. Don’t hide your own sadness and grieving from the child. Children need to see adults dealing with grief so they can learn to deal with their own grieving. Adults do not help children if the adult thinks they must be strong and emotionless.
4. Generally speaking, be honest with children dealing with grief. There is no protecting a child by keeping something from them, unless it’s unhelpful details from the crime scene. Otherwise, answer the children’s questions honestly. They will process your answer accordingly.
5. If a child doesn’t want to talk about it, let them know that you are always available to talk about it or answer any questions that they may have or want to ask.
6. If the death was a child’s parent or sibling or family or close to them in some way, resist the urge to not use the deceased person’s name. Use the person’s name in your conversations. Using their name after their death is not a denial of that but a recognition that the relationship is still alive with their memory.
7. Share with the child stories or memories of the deceased loved one, and in doing so you will help the child learn to keep their relationship alive but through their memory. It is important that they know that talking about their deceased loved one is fine, good, and welcomed.
8. Involve the children in planning of any special days or activities related to the deceased loved one’s birthday or anniversary or even anniversaries of death date.