Few of us have actually set out to live our lives as pirates, obsessively searching for rum and treasure while giving no regard for contributing to society or being a morally centered citizen. Some have and they have prisons to call their home. Most of us have set out to do something positive with our lives, like build a family we love and invest in a career that garners respect.

We’ve typically strived to be the best we can be and do as much good for the world as we can, but even our best aim at perfection falls short. It’s not uncommon to come to old age or the end of our life and remember past mistakes and misadventures that suddenly spiritually haunt us. Remorse, regret, and remembrance of those things can leave us feeling guilty, unsettled, or emotionally stressed. The negativity of these feelings will steal our contentment, harmony, and peace.

So what are we to do about these things in our attempt to maximize our quality of life and regain our sense of peace? The solution is to assess these three aspects of life that make peace obtainable…

Make Peace With Yourself

We sometimes come to the end of our life and spend a lot of time asking ourselves the What If questions. What if I would have married that person, what if I would have taken that job, what if I would have done this or that?

What if questions can never be answered and you’ll beat yourself up thinking that you missed the one decision that would have guaranteed your happiness. The truth is, whatever you might have done differently doesn’t matter because you would still be where you are now, dealing with your end of life.

Making peace with yourself requires a cognitive shift in your thinking. Your emotions are what is stirring up the what if questions. So when you adjust your thinking about the topic and see it from a different perspective, it becomes easier to deal with.

Finding yourself at peace is to be able to look back over your life and identify reasons to be grateful. It is also being content about having an unfinished bucket list or having a plan in place to finish what you can on your bucket list.

If your health and finances allow you to do what is unfinished on your bucket list, develop a plan and do it. If you realize that it will be impossible to do something on your bucket list, let it go. Your personal peace is more valuable than a photo taken to remind you that you did something on your bucket list.

Make Peace With Others

Over the course of a lifetime we lose track of people, we have relationships that have gone sour, and we have family that have drifted out of our lives. We are human and these things happen to us. However, as we have more time to contemplate about past relationships we sometimes find fond memories and consider reconnecting or making contact with people. Relationships gone bad do bother us, even if we are not stewing over it everyday all day.

Making peace with others requires some action on your part. It may mean that you should reach out to someone through the telephone, email, or social media. It may mean that you need to forgive someone for something they did to you. Forgiving is an action and it might be that a past hurt or offense needs to be released. You may need to stop rehearsing the issue every time the offender’s name is mentioned. You may feel like you need to ask someone’s forgiveness.

Romans 12:18 states “If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.” I share this because it mentions two very important things to guide us when it comes to making peace with others. The verse says “If it be possible” and “as much as lieth in you” because some people will not be receptive to overtures of reconciliation and we can only do so much to achieve that. If you can’t get in touch with them or they are deceased, there is nothing else you can do.

Make Peace With God

Religion is mankind’s attempt to bridge the gap between God and ourselves. Making peace with God is not the same as making peace with a religion or a denomination or a church you may have grown up at. It is getting back on speaking terms with the Creator of the Universe because only He can help you navigate to the afterlife.

Making peace with God requires having faith in His Word. It is believing what the Bible says and allowing God’s Spirit to bring peace into your life. Romans 5:1 states that “we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ” whom 1 Timothy 2:5 says is the “mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus.”

It’s never too late to believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and by faith accept what He did on Calvary’s cross for you. There is forgiveness for sins in Jesus. 1 John 1:9 states “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” There is salvation for you in Jesus. Ephesians 2:8:9 states “For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.”

You may have lived your life by putting in the labor to earn everything you got and by careful planning for your family. You may have proudly never had to accept a handout or depend on another to get by, but when it comes to eternity in the afterlife you’ll need to humble yourself to believe in faith and accept God’s grace.

Knocking on death’s door is not the time to be too proud to acknowledge your need of God. If you have reached old age or being consumed by disease, you have been placed in a position to yield to God anyway. Don’t hold back because He already knows your heart.

It may be time to come up with your own spiritual care plan of intentionally building a relationship with God. Start with prayer. Open yourself up to the Lord by communicating with Him through prayer. Prayer is simply talking with God as you would a friend. Read portions of the Bible and meditate upon what you read. You can also find a good daily devotional book to read each day, they typically offer a Bible verse and a brief encouraging commentary.